Arda on a Silver Platter
Arda on a Silver Platter is what happened when poor Fudd look one of Mabel's taunts literally and almost caused the destruction of Arda. The event Prologue It was a dark and stormy night on April 1st, 1999 as Fudd Lapooh trudged sadly home through the the snow. Fudd shivered. His last prank had not gone well, and it had ended in him getting covered with Ditto and the "rainin' boots o' doom" falling on him. In the distance he heard a mailvan driving towards him. Fearing an ambush, Fudd jumped aside and the mailvan stopped. A penguin get out and walked toward Fudd. Fudd looked at the face of the stranger. The penguin had red feathers, dark green eyes and a look of fear on his face. "He probably thynks thayt i wyll pranky hym." Fudd thought to himself. The mailpenguin gave Fudd a box and drove off as fast as he could. Fudd stared at the package. A strange ticking noise arose from it, and with a quick motion Fudd threw it into the snow. The box exploded, and Fudd rushed over to look at the sender. "Hey, it wasys Mabel!" he said aloud. Inside it contained a letter. It read: Dear &^$$%%$^&^$%, ^&$&%$&$^%%#^&$%$*$^*#%*$%*$%%***^&(&^%($%$#$%! From, Mabel Fudd smiled. To him, anything from Mabel (yes, even that!) was a treasure. He ran all the way to the MMK headquarters, opened a large file cabinet and inserted the letter into the folder marked "Mabel's letters". Suddenly Fudd thought of something. His new promotion to Teacher's Assistant would allow him to set up a Mabel stalking session a a visit to her! Fudd leaped with joy and set up a new session quickly. Suddenly, he heard a voice behind him and Fudd wheeled around to see his alter ego, Ninja Fudd. Little did he know that each of them was himself, as he could (and often would) switch so fast between them that it looked that there were two Fudds together! However, he id not know this. "Don't do it, Fudd! You will go through many hardships along the way if you do!" Switching back to normal, Fudd replied "Shuddupy ya annoyng nynja!" "Allright, then I'll guess that I'll have t teach you the hard way." and with a "YEEEEHHHAAAAWWWWW!" Ninja Fudd jumped on his "opponent", and "caught" the puffle by the throat! "Letty go of me or I'll throwy a cream pie at ya!" Fudd yelled and launched a cream pie at his "adversary", who "disappeared" into the darkness. Not once did Fudd think about the warning. ---- The Mailvan driver drove as fast as he could. The van was going at 160mph and the road was very slippery. Suddenly, he heard a ticking in the back. "What was THAT?!" thought the mailpenguin to himself. Alas, he was to late, and the Mailvan and it's driver were sent to the CyberVoid ---- KABOOM! Fudd heard an explosion in the distance. He wheeled around in surprise, but then calmed down. Perhaps the exploding alarm clock that he had bought at the prank store had lived up to it's name. Chapter I Everyone in the MMK was woken up early by their alarm clocks. All the sleepy members groaned. "Why did KingH10 have to hook up our alarms to the central MMK clock?" ZapWire muttered to himself, summing up everyone's feelings. However, when they arrived they were excited to hear that Fudd had set up a meeting with Mabel. Everyone hurried around, cleaning up the rooms, mopping the floors and dusting the shelves until everything was squeaky clean. Well, almost. "Hey everybody!" KingH10 called out, "Mabel can't come! There's a spot on the floor!" Everyone was relieved that it was only a spot. 12yz12ab tried to clean the spot. It didn't come off. Everyone groaned. The meeting would have to be cancelled. Suddenly one of Billy Mays' commercials came on the TV. "Don't use ShamOMG!, for it does not have the "Billy Mays APPROVED!" stamp on the box! Use OxiPie instead for a cleaner sto-" Bill Gate$ turned off the TV and said, "Hey! Why don't we u$e $ome $hamOMG!?" "But it does not have the Billy Mays' stamp of approval!" said 12yz12ab, who looked like he had been hypnotized by the TV add. "I go for OxiPie." 12yz12ab bought some OxiPie and rubbed it on the floor. It still didn't come off, so Bill Gate$ went off to the store and bought some Sham OMG!" This time, it actually came off. Everyone cheered, and 12yz12ab recovered from the add's hypnotic effects. But just then, each member got a message in their inbox. Mabel refused to come. Bill Gate$ cried. 12yz12ab started to cry, but cleared up his tears with his Face-Cleaner 9000+. Everyone was sad, but Fudd volunteered ask Mabel to come in person, and instantly everyone cheered up. "Now takey cayre." said Fudd happily, and walked out the door. Outside it had warmed up, and snowflakes fell down slowly to the ground. Each one glittered like a glass chandelier, and slowly but gently landed softly on the ground. Fudd noticed one in particular, a large snowflake with a strange reddish tint that fell down slightly faster then the others. Or was it? Suddenly, Fudd rubbed his eyes and looked at the snowflake again. It was just normal, and Fudd realized that he had been daydreaming again. Fudd shook himself, and continued on. As he walked and walked and walked and walked, he wondered what Mabel would say. Would it be "yes you *^&%^#%^%#^&%$#^$%#^!" or "NO PHREAK! $##^$^#^$^#*$^#*$%#^&$%!"? Fudd had no clue, and suddenly he found himself on Explorer's doorstep. He pressed the doorbell, and Explorer walked out, wearing his trademark propeller cap and giggling like a small schoolgirl. "Hey Exployrer! Howsys Mabel?" asked Fudd, looking up at Explorer. "Oh she' not feeling well, at least she won't be...." mumbled Explorer, looking at his archrival at pranking people. "Here a gift for you!" said Explorer suddenly, and with a quick flick of the flipper he suddenly pulled out a red box with a pink bow on it. "For me? How nice!" exclaimed Fudd with pretend surprise, and he quickly opened the box. KABOOOM! went the box, and Explorer was flung off his feet by the shockwave, while Fudd stood right where he was, unmoved. "How....did.....you...survive.....my.....epic......prank?" asked Explorer, as he staggered up, dizzy from the impact. "Easy." replied Fudd, "Wheyn I saw teh box, I notyced thayt Fred 676 mayde teh box, as it hayd hys dyrty flypperprints on it, and I hayve seeny teh polyce fyles on Fredsys beforey." "I wasn't asking about that. I was wondering how you survived without being blown of your feet." asked Explorer. "Puffleys hayve betteyr gryp then penguinsys, as eachy one cayn holdy onta surfacesys smallery tehn a yoctometer, and teh road ways alotsys bygger theyn one of thosey." Fudd was about to continue, but he noticed that Explorer was going into phreaker mode and went inside. "FUDDDDDDDDDD! *($#^%&#*$&#&%^@^$*@&$!" screamed Mabel, and she ran under the couch. "Attention Mabel!" said Fudd loudly, his strange accent almost disappearing completely. "The MMK summons you to a special meeting, which shall contain the following: first: the eating and drinking of Diet Soda and other delicous snacks, and then, the sumo-" "SSUUSSHH FUDD!" screamed Mabel, her face turning beet red, "*%@^$*@W#&E*$^@W*%#^&$^#&! NO WAY WILL I COME TO THE STUPID MEETING OF YOURS, PHREAK! *#&#*($&#*$%&#($&#*$^#@#^&$&#*@#!" "But oh great one," continued Fudd in his "fancy" voice, "Is there not some way that you will come to our blessed meeting of awesomeness and cheesepuffhatingness?" Mabel thought for a moment. This would be a great way of getting rid of Fudd and that annoying MMK! "Only if you brought, ahem, Arda to me on a silver platter, as a royal gift, YOU PHREA-now Mabel, you must sound cal-I CAN'T BE CALM! *#^&$%*#^&$*#^$%*#^$*#&$*#^&$*#&$*W#&#&#(#&$^$^#^!" Fudd looked at Mabel in wonder and joy. "Theyn you'lly comey? YIPPEY!" Fudd lept for joy and did a funny dance on the floor. "ONLY IF YOU DO AS I ASKED, PHREAK! ΔΩϠ‽Я҂Ӷ۝۩ᴥᵯ₠∏℗ЙӜिআஇணஇআഊண෴ษ༕࿄ᏳӜஇ∏!" screamed Mabel, and she ran into her puffle bed, screaming all the way. Fudd quickly ran back to the headquarters, and burst open the doors. "Hey guessy whaysys everybodysys? Maybel wyll comey!" "When?" asked TurtleShroom excitedly. "Wheyn I delyver Ayrda on a sylvery plattyer ta heyr!" replied Fudd excitedly. For a few minutes, silence ruled the MM- "NO, I RULE THE MMK YOU NAUGHTY NARRATOR!" screamed Alex12345a, who then proceeded to bang his head against what appeared to be an invisible wall. TurtleShroom glared at Alex. They ruled the Klan. For the next four hours, to the amazement of the members, Alex would not stop, and even though the wall appeared to be non-existent, a large bruise was starting to form on his head. "Someone call 911!' screamed ZapWire hysterically, and reached for the phone. "NOOOOOOOOOOO!" yelled the members, "We CAN'T let the outsiders enter our sancturary!" But it was too late. ZapWire had picked it up and tried to press the buttons. To everyone's relief, the buttons would not work, and suddenly ZapWire looked at the object that he was holding. It was not the phone, it was his plush toy computer, with it's Penguin OS label emblazoned oh the "screen"! Suddenly everyone started to laugh, and ZapWire laughed too stopped when he realized that Bill Gate$ was standing right beside him. With a shriek ZapWire ran out of the room and straight into the shut door, knocking him out and leaving a perfectly embossed image of himself on it in the process. "So, first things first. How do we help Alex?" TurtleShroom told everyone, and they quieted down. 12yz12ab started to answer, but then got that spirally look in his eyes again, and intoned almost hypnotically: "OxiPie. We must use OxiPie. So says the almighty Billy Mays, my master. I am his slav-" Lobelia Sackville then punched him in the face, ending his speech and his crazy look. "I know!" said Bill Gate$ excitedly, "Let'$ wipe him with $hamOMG! It $hould wake him up." "Never." said 12y12ab, his eyes starting to go crazy again, "ShamOMG is not Billy Mays approved. He must be destroyed." Everyone gasped as 12yz12ab grabbed Bill Gate$ with a stiff, robotic motion and banged him into the wall, his joints moving stiffly. Bill Gate$ suddenly shot up his big fist at the crazy scientist, hitting him right between the eyes. The fight was on! Suddenly 12yz12ab coughed up a strange microchip from his stomach and fell unconscious. Bill Gate$ picked up the device and gasped. It was a mind control device! He quickly threw it away and ran into the storage room. After a few minutes he came back out with a ShamOMG! towel in his hand. He rubbed it on Alex's face, and slowly, he returned back to normal. "W-w-w-w-w.....what happened?" Nobody responded, and Alex12345a decided to respond to Fudd. "Fudd, nobody knows where Arda is, so she effectively said no." "B-b-b-b-b-but unless we find it, none of us will ever see Mabel again!" shouted ZapWire in terror before fainting again. Suddenly everyone started to get very worried and started discussing what was to be done, however since nobody agreed and everyone spoke at the same time, chaos rul- "FOR THE LAST TIME, I RULE THE MMK, YOU ANNOYING NARRATOR!" shouted Alex, and immediately the room was silent. "Fudd, PLEASE find Arda for us!" sobbed 12yz12ab, and Fudd nodded his head in agreement. He then proceeded to cover 12yz12ab in OxiPies. TurtleShroom shook his head and took off his capirote. "Oh, come on, folks! You can't actually deliver an entire island on a plate. Fudd, Our Lady was using a metaphor to say no. She's not coming to our meeting." "I doyn't a-carey!" Fudd screeched. "Imma find Arda and puts it on a silvuh playtey!" Chapter II Gáston Hochstadt, owner of ten yachts and ruler of a small empire, looked on in amazement as he listened through the wiretapped phone. "Yeah yeah suyre." spoke Fudd's voice on the phone, "I'll comey tomorrowy. Goodybye and pleasy tell me wheyre Arda is." "Bye" said an unknown voice, and instantly the line went dead. "He knows where Arda is? I MUST HAVE IT!" yelled Gaston at chauffeur no.99. The chauffeur looked on in amazement, and stuttered; "B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-but sr., only high penguins can enter!" "I don't care, subject! EVERYTHING obeys Gáston the great!" "Don't you mean Gaston the Vain?" asked the chauffeur under his breath, but Gaston heard. "YOU DARE DEFY GASTON?! GUARDS! BRING ME A SHRUBBER-I MEAN A JAIL!" In came over 9,000 guards, carrying a small jail on their backs. "Sir, can we set it down here?" "NO, OVER TO THE LEFT!" They slowly moved to the left, straining under the weight. "I MEAN THE RIGHT!" They moved it to the right, even slower then before. "NO, TO THE LEFT, YOU DUMMIES!" They tried, but collapse under the weight. Ignoring the calamity, Gaston looked out to sea. "Without my ten yachts, I would be an emoguin." Just then a TaliBEAN jumped onto one of the yachts, took it's cargo and sunk it with a hand grenade. "Without my nine yachts, I would be an emoguin. ---- Fudd Lapooh stood at the door of the tall building. His eyes scanned the gigantic door. It's beautiful dark brown wood had engraved on it carved the entire history of the USA. Whoever lived here must either been really rich, or one of the biggest robbers in history. That door, guessed Fudd, would be worth more then the entire amount of money printed off in Waffleland, and that was more then the stock markets could handle, if it wasn't for a software glitch. Suddenly the door creaked slowly open, and a creepy voice sounded from inside, "Come in." Fudd walked inside, and looked around. The inside of the mansion was in horrible state, and from the inside the door looked strange. The walls were covered with evil-looking pictures and Gargoyles that made one feel like screaming. "Quick, come in here!' shouted a voice that sounded more like the one on the phone. Fudd spun around, and saw a staircase right beside the door that he had entered in. "Hurry, before the monster gets you!" At the mention of a monster, Fudd quickly started to run up the stairs. He hated monsters more then he hated Nightmare. As he ran up the staircase the door at the top seemed to get farther and farther away, and suddenly he heard the steps behind him creaking. Fudd saw a mirror on the walls and screamed. He was being chased by a Doom Knight! Fudd started to run with almost superpuffle speed, but still the Doom Knight gained, it's eyes glowing in the darkness. Soon Fudd realized that it was not alone, and it was leading a small army of them and a few Abyss Knights. Lasers started to fly at him and fire scorched his fur. Suddenly Fudd realized that the door was right in front of him and he jumped in, shutting it just in time. Turning from the door, he suddenly saw a old blue penguin, looking on in surprise. "Hey fellah! So ya survived! Hehehehehehehehehehe!" "Weyll, can ya telly me wheyre Arda is locayted?" asked Fudd. "Only if ya rid me of 'dese bloody Doom Knights, hehehehehehehehehehhe!With them here, I can't go down to the bathroom." Fudd Lapooh looked out of the small window in the door. The Doom Knights were regrouping, and suddenly, one waved at him. Fudd waved back, and suddenly it threw a boot at him. SMASH! It wrecked the window and hit Fudd right in the face, knocking him over. "Get inside!" yelled the commander, and his troops obeyed, squeezing through the window and widening it with their fish's teeth. Fudd and the penguin looked on in terror, but the old penguin just laughed. As soon as they all got inside, they started to surround Fudd and the penguin. Fudd suddenly grabbed for his Staff of Goofiness in his inbox, but a Abyss Knight took it and studied it carefully. Seeing this as an opportunity, Fudd pulled out a cream pie and threw it at the Abyss Knight, who was conjuring up some kind of code and inserting it into the staff. SPLAT! The pie hit him right in the face and some of the splatter hit the staff. ZAP! The staff started firing pies everywhere, and the Abyss Knight collapsed under the weight of the hundred-some pies. Fudd jumped up and grabbed his staff. He knew it would come in handy sometime. Fudd started whacking Doom Knights and firing random objects at them, and after a while, they retreated. "Well, wheyre's mah rewardy?" Fudd asked the penguin. "Hey, I'll tell ya something. I don't know! I just wanted you to get rid of the Doom Knights." Hehehehehehehehehehehehe!" Sad and disappointed, Fudd left the room and walked back down the stairs. At the bottom, he met the Doom Knights, mending their bumps and bruises. He then walked up to the commander, who was treating a wound inflicted by a flying piano. "Hey 'dere! Ya know wherey Arda is?" asked Fudd innocently. "I'll only tell you if you give me a Cream Soda." Fudd handed him one, and the Doom Knight began to talk. "Well, I hear that if you go to a certain port in New Freezeland and say Grub, they'll send you onto a ship that sends you there." "Thanksys!" said Fudd, and handed him a gold coin. The Doom Knight looked at the puffle confused. Didn't he hate Darktan's minions? Fudd offered no response, and ran out of the door, jumping for joy. "Oh, and one piece of advice," chuckled the commander, "never trust one of Darktan's minions." ---- Nightmare listened as the Doom Knights staggered out of the door, talking about horrors Darktan would do to them." "Excellent. Stage one complete." ---- Fudd Lapooh looked at his ticket to Freezland from SkyJet Airways. He had never travelled by plane before, and this was very scary for him. Suddenly, a flipper waved in front of his face, and he looked at the clerk who stood in front of him impatiently. "W-w-w-w-whaty? I dydn't heary ya." said Fudd while yawning. "The baggage check is done. Your plane is now leaving!" Fudd snapped to attention and quickly jumped up and ran through the crowd. The crowd started to thicken as Fudd tries to squeeze his way through to get to the loading dock. "Flight 13 launching in T-minus 10 seconds." Fudd gasped. That was his plane! "Flight 13 launching in T-minus 9 seconds." The crowd thickened even more as Fudd squirmed and looked for openings. "8" People started to rush for the plane, trampling Fudd into the floor. "7" "6" "5" Fudd tried to get up, but felt too weak. "4" Suddenly Fudd felt a burst of energy and lept up and ran for his plane. "3" "2" "1" "Yeeeeeeessssss-" "0. Flight 13 taking off now." The doors slammed shut, and Fudd saw a airport worker looking at him with pity. "Sir, the doors to the airfield is right this way. Do you want me to unlock it?" Fudd agreed and found himself going out the nearby door and ran started running out onto the pavement, chasing the plane. Just as the plane was about to take off, Fudd had an idea. He quickly jumped and grabbed onto the landing gear of the plane as it took off and retraced it's landing gear, automatically bringing him inside. Inside the plane, Fudd quickly rushed to his seat and sat down just in time. ---- Back at the airport on the main screen in the command room, Swiss Ninja started to speak. "Attention citizens of the USA! I would like to notify you that until further notice, it is illegal to enter Freezland. All tourests will be court martialed, shot and sent to Pen Chi Island!" If only Fudd would've heard that, this tale might've had a better ending. But alas, we cannot change the tale, so let us continue. Chapter III To be continued. Please do not edit. Result See also * Link Category:Events Category:Stories Category:Fun Pages Category:Main Category:Conspiracy Theories